Stupid is as stupid does

stupid

You can’t fix stupid

I swear I think Forrest Gump has a quote for just about any situation in life. Yesterday, I was combing through the news to find things to joke about, as I do every day when I came upon this headline from the Washington Post:

D.C. third-graders were made to reenact episodes from the Holocaust

Now, this is the kind of thing I expect from the fine people who live in Florida but this was in our nation’s capital! A staff member at a DC-area elementary school had third-grade students reenact parts of the Holocaust. She had them pretend to take trains to the concentration camps, act like they were dying in the gas chambers, play out shooting each other, and then act out digging graves for each other. One student (who happened to be Jewish) was made to act out the role of Adolph Hitler and reenact his suicide at the end of World War II. How stupid could a person be?

The staff member asked the students not to tell anyone but did she really expect they would not tell their parents? When the school learned of these “lessons” they sent an email to all the parents:

“I want to acknowledge the gravity of this poor instructional decision, as students should never be asked to act out or portray any atrocity, especially genocide, war, or murder,” Principal M. Scott Berkowitz said in the email.

The school also provided the class with mental health experts to help the kids deal with the trauma caused by the exercise. When asked why she did this stupid thing, she said, “Because the Jews ruined Christmas.”

Does she not know Jesus was Jewish?

Huh? Since when was Christmas ruined? I am making a joke of this in the way Mel Brooks explained The Producers by saying he thought laughing at Hitler was the best revenge but this is also very serious. A recent report by the American Jewish Committee found:

  • One in four American Jews say they have been targets of antisemitism in the last 12 months;
  • Four in 10 American Jews have changed their behavior out of fear;
  • Four out of 10 of all Americans have personally witnessed antisemitic incidents;
  • And 82% of American Jews say antisemitism has risen over the last five years while only 44% of the general public believes that to be the case.

Moreover, attacks on Jewish people, cemeteries, and synagogues has been on the rise so when “lessons” like this are taught in schools, it leaves a lasting impression on already impressionable children. The comment that “Jews ruined Christmas” may be more prevalent than the rantings of one stupid school worker. The staff member in question was placed on leave but that woman needs to be fired and kept out of all schools. She has no business influencing children. As a bigger issue, we need to really look at how prevalent her thoughts on Jewish people are.

Sarah Palin was back in the news

Always known for being a gentlelady and a scholar, Palin told a conservative group:

“It’ll be over my dead body that I’ll have to get a (covid vaccine) shot. I will not do it. I won’t do it, and they better not touch my kids, either.”

Forbes

Clearly, Palin has no idea how vaccines work. I mean, if she’s dead, we aren’t wasting a dose on her! Right!?!? But she went on to say:

“If enough of us, though, rise up and say, ‘No, enough is enough,’ there are more of us than there are of them.”

Forbes

Now, Palin really is showing she has no idea how this virus kills people. It’s generally not killing vaccinated people, it’s the unvaccinated who are dying. The more people don’t get vaccinated, the more of them will die and there will be more of us than them. I never advocate for the death of anyone but it’s more Republicans who are not getting vaccinated than Democrats so GOP lawmakers who oppose vaccine mandates are killing their own voters.

And that’s all I have to say about that.

Can you imagine if a Congressperson said these things about Christians?

Don't make fun of Christians!

Lauren Boebert called Ilhan Omar a terrorist because she is a Muslim, can you imagine if someone made that statement about Christians?

Bear in mind, these are the people who have a hissy fit when someone says, “Happy Holidays” rather than “Merry Christmas.” As soon as some people on the right hear that, they are all “It’s a war on Christians! It’s a war on Christmas!” So while people like Boebert are totally cool making jokes about Muslims being terrorists, they would go absolutely crazy if anyone made the same joke about Christians.

And all of this shows what a pussy Kevin McCarthy is. If Ilhan Omar — or anyone else — made a comment about seeing Boebert in the elevator and worrying Boebert was about to start an insurrection, he would be on the House flood demanding Nancy Pelosi strike Omar of her committee assignments. Never mind that Boebert has bragged about carrying a gun to the House floor. If anyone is scary to meet in an elevator, it’s Boebert.

Of course, it is also important to remember how people like Boebert and her blond twin, Marjorie Taylor Greene have also supported Qanon and that craziness. Does anyone not think Qanon people are terrifying? Before I moved back to New York, I had someone take care of my house who was a HUGE Qanon supporter. He believes that Hollywood, industry, and the government are controlled by shape-shifting lizard creatures from outer space who worship Satan and both eat children for their adrenochrome and have sex with them. Now he was on the extreme end of Qanon but he is also an Oath Keeper and has guns. When I left Florida, I knew people who were big into the Proud Boys. If you aren’t scared of these people, you aren’t paying attention.

But back to the hypocrisy. I don’t consider myself to be a Christian. I celebrate Christmas only because I like the secular parts of the holiday. Jesus was most likely born in April so I see this holiday through seriously secular eyes. Some of the worst terrorism on American soil has been perpetrated by Christians. The Klan was/is a Protestant group. People have killed abortion providers in the name of Christ. No religion is free of extremists. Buddhists in Burma have been guilty of persecuting the Muslim Rohingya. In fact, Muslims are more likely to be victims of terrorism and genocide than perpetrators.

Can you come to either of these events?

I am a little nervous about two events I have been planning for weeks.

World Genocide Day protest: We are going to meet up at the US Mission to the UN and walk over to Harry Winston’s headquarters. We will deliver a list of the people who signed our petition to Harry Winston/Swatch to get them to stop selling #GenocideGems. You can learn more here.

Comedy to Free Paul Rusesabagina: On January 11, 2022, at 7:00 pm, No Business with Genocide has teamed up with Two Joke Minimum and the New York Comedy Club to bring together some of the area’s best comedians to raise money for Paul’s legal defense fund. Get your tickets here.

And because we can all use some cat cuteness…

Hey, MLB, get your S*&% together!

Mets

Being a Met fan is hard

I am a Met fan, New Yorker, and a Democrat — in that order. I would never vote for Chris Christie but I like him more than Christine Quinn. I agree with Quinn on just about every political issue but she was a Met fan and she switched her allegiance to the Yankees because her partner likes the Yankees. I just can’t trust that. I can appreciate Christie because he is also a fan of the Mets and that takes a lot. It’s hard to be a fan of the red-headed stepchild of a baseball team in New York.

Last week, the Mets signed pitcher Max Scherzer and I was elated. Finally, an owner who cares about the team. Of course, the universe was paying attention and it was all Don’t get too excited, Met fans. Sure you signed a great player but what if there is no season? When I heard about the lockout, I felt like Neo in the Matrix must have felt when Agent Smith asked “What good is a phone call if you can’t speak?”

So, what good is a great pitcher if you can’t play? The problem is being a Met fan is so much a part of my DNA that I am not sure how to not be a fan. This is how the season usually goes for me. They start off strong and I get all excited. Then, sometime around the All Star break (before, of course), they collapse. Some years, they make a comeback and I think they just. Might. Make. It. Then they collapse again and break my heart.

This is why they call us “crazy cat lady”

A woman got herself in trouble for trying to breastfeed a hairless cat on a Delta flight from Syracuse, NY to Atlanta, GA. Ainsley Elizabeth, a flight attendant on the flight said, “This woman had one of those, like, hairless cats swaddled up in a blanket so it looked like a baby. Her shirt was up and she was trying to get the cat to latch and she wouldn’t put the cat back in the carrier. And the cat was screaming for its life.”

Even the cat knew this was not something that is supposed to happen. What the hell, lady? I have two cats and I love them but I have never, ever even considered trying to breastfeed any of them. People like this are why cat people are often thought of as being “crazy.” Thanks a lot. The woman on the plane was apprehended by authorities at the airport when they landed. I can only hope the cat went to a better home.

Today, I am annoyed about Annie

Annie live

Seriously, how is Annie a good idea?

I have never liked the musical Annie. Maybe it is because my dad was a sociopath and it would have been nice to be adopted by a rich guy who was not. Or it could be because the Annie I grew up with had red hair and I have red hair and people always said, “You look like (insert redhead here)!” My reasons are deeper than that.

Have you ever actually thought about the plot of the play/movie? Rich, single guy sends a minion to the local orphanage to pick one up for the holiday. Let that sink in. He needs an orphan for the holiday. Since when can rich people just go pick up a child for the weekend? Isn’t Ghislaine Maxwell on trial for doing that for Jeffrey Epstein? Wouldn’t every rich pedophile in the world be hanging out near the local orphanage? How is this a good message?

So, the minion picks Annie because Mrs. Hannigan, who runs the orphanage, is so mean to her. Oliver Warbucks (what kind of name is that? I get Oliver is an homage to Oliver Twist but Warbucks?) gets upset because he thought all orphans were boys. Hey, I wanted a boy to play with!

In any case, Warbucks learns Annie has never been to Manhattan to they walk 45 blocks in December. Who does that? No one. Average people take the subway. Uber rich people like Warbucks take a car. What are you taking her on the Bataan Death March?

Oh, and in the description of Mrs. Hannigan, I read she “doesn’t care for children but loves alcoholic beverages.” Yeah, sounds exactly like the kind of person you want running an orphanage. Never mind that this story takes place during the Depression (though the play came out in 1977) and they get FDR involved because he had nothing better to do, I just don’t think this is a positive message for anyone. Ever.

Are you in NYC? I am working on two events.

  1. Harry Winston protest. This will be one week from today — December 9, 2021 at 10:00 am. This is also World Genocide Day. We will walk from the US Mission to the UN to the Harry Winston headquarters and flagship store. Learn more about this here.
  2. In January, I am working with Two Joke Minimum, No Business with Genccide, the Paul Rusesabagina Hotel Rwanda Foundation and the New York Comedy Club to host a fundraiser for Paul’s legal defense fund. The night will be headlined by Nore Davis, see on the Tonight Show. Wavy Maguire will host and it will feature Jenae Boston, T-Storm, Jason Ox-Horn and me! You can get your tickets here. There will be an option for people who are not in NYC to donate and watch later. Get in touch if you need more information about that.

The LIRR sucks (sometimes)

lirr sucks

I get why people complain about the LIRR

I grew up taking the LIRR into the city. It takes the exact same amount of time to get from Stony Brook to Penn Station today as it did when we moved to Long Island when I was about three years old. Seriously. In general, I like taking the train. I have probably driven into the city four or five times in my life. Maybe not even that. I hate driving into the city and there is no reason to do it with the train less than a mile from my house. I can see people in their cars and they all look like they are millimeters away from committing mass murder. Who wants to get that angry? Not me.

Yesterday was different. Part of a track on the Port Jefferson line (the only line they haven’t fully electrified) was broken and that happens but the confusion that ensued was nuts. We stopped on the track for a while and no one said anything. We just sat there. I had taken an earlier train so I could do some things in the city before I met someone but that time was eaten up sitting on the track. Finally, someone announced the problem and assured us that a train would be waiting to take us to Penn Station at Hicksville. When we got to that station, there was a train waiting but it was headed for Ronkonkoma. Not exactly where we were going. The LIRR staff member said a train was coming in 15 minutes, which was met with all the enthusiasm you can imagine. I am not the only inpatient New Yorker.

The good news is that person was wrong (surprise!) and a train came right after the Ronkonkoma train departed. But it was annoying. Things break, we all get that but get your shit together, LIRR.

Then on the way home, there was some issue. We were about nine minutes late getting to Huntington (maybe the same track issue?) and then once we were at Huntington, we all had to wait until the train we were on left. For some reason, this took about 15 minutes. We kept seeing people walk up and down in the train we had just exited. What the hell were they doing? No idea but it was super cold on the platform and no one was happy.

It seems the Port Jefferson line is the red-headed stepchild of the LIRR system. I don’t get it. Stony Brook University is often called the flagship school of the SUNY system (the largest public university system in the country) and it sits on the Port Jeff line. Why not make it easier for people to get to and from this university? I get that Stony Brook, the town, has mixed feelings about the university (across the street from the university is a sign, “Welcome to Stony Brook! Home of the Stony Brook School!” — that school is a private school housed in the middle of the Three Village School District, which is a great school district, but I digress) but shouldn’t everyone see the benefit in improving this line? WTF?

I am hosting a show!

If you are in the Mt. Sinai area on December 10, you will be able to come see me host a show! How awesome is that? Very! Check it out!